OHTN conference 2009

The Ontario HIV Treatment Network conference on "research at the front lines" served up more new possibilities for moving forward and hope against the many interrelated oppressions surrounding the virus than I had imagined. I don't know if I can quite properly describe the feeling of seeing a man dressed in a suit, introduced as a PhD, presenting a plenary piece on the latest research in HIV/AIDS and referring to the gay community as "we" and "ours". It was one of those moments that sends a beautiful wave of shock through your body, as you realise that suddenly the margins aren't quite as marginalised as you always deeply felt.

That was Dr. Ron Stall, and his work was a beautiful breakthrough into the interconnected psycho-social health issues gay men face. His research outlined how childhood abuse, depression, substance abuse, and intimate partner violence all increase the likelihood of acquiring HIV. More, if one of those problems is present in a man's life, there is a greater chance that any of the other problems will also occur; which is common sense when you think about it. Basically it means if you've been abused as a child you may end up in an abusive relationship; and an abusive partner is not one who is willing to be faithful and wear condoms if you ask him to. Sorting out exactly why each of these connections occur is complex; but each vulnerability factor serves to increase the likelihood that at least one other will be present.

Listening to Dr. Stall was one of those light-bulb moments for me. Not only because he tied together the deep wounds of homophobia so many of us have experienced as children, but also because it inspired me in what I want to do for my master's thesis. I had been interested in looking at refugee women from conflict zones, how service providers are treating them for trauma (or not), and intimate partner violence. Now I realise it is obvious I have to add HIV to that and see what connections arise. Many presenters at the conference illustrated that immigrants tend to seroconvert after arriving in Canada; I want to know if the same trend exists for refugees, and what role conflict and violence play into HIV. More importantly, I want to emphasise what service providers can do to meet refugees' needs, and how to prevent intimate partner violence and HIV acquisition.

I had to book two days off work to go to the conference, and I did so over the phone. My Mom, sitting next to me overheard me as I explained to my employer that I was going to a conference on HIV.

"They might think you have it, Mary Ann" my Mom worried.

"Then I just made one small step towards destroying that stigma" I replied.

And indeed, the research and the community surrounding this conference proved to do that in more ways than just my own small and inadvertent action.